The Cursed Two-Hand Phone Stumble..

No bitch.

Use ONE hand for your phone, and the other to hold onto something because you're gonna step on my foot and I'm gonna call you a stupid fucking cunt.

People Who Type on their Phones Like This:

You idiot fuck.

Balance your phone on your fingers and type with the thumb of the same hand like an evolved human. Are you some kind of retard that can't coordinate this? Does your ENTIRE FUCKING ARM have to move and your elbow bump into me EVERY TIME you press a key?

Seriously? It's not a desktop keyboard you stupid cunt. Use one hand.