"The Slowest Method.. "

Went to the post office to mail a package to the other side of the world. It not being full of perishables, and me not wanting to spend too much money, I elected to use the slowest shipping method possible:

Me:

"What's the slowest, cheapest way to mail this package to the other side of the world? "

Post Office Worker:

"That would be by ship.. "

That was two months ago. The package still hasn't arrived. I don't think we were speaking about the same kind of ship.. 

It's like they took a time machine back to 1572, brought a ship builder back, showed him a grove of stout pines, commissioned him to build a ship.. by hand.. by himself..,hired a crew, gave them dysentery before they left port, then put my fucking package on the boat as they lifted anchor.